Delay Ejaculation!

Premature Ejaculation Treatment : Behavioral Therapy

The most effective behavior therapy approaches designed to delay ejaculation are all based on the same idea: you train yourself to slow down the rate of increase of your sexual arousal and not approach orgasm so quickly.

So, you have sex without ejaculating, get as near the point of ejaculation as you can without coming, then stop thrusting or even withdraw for your partner until your arousal has dropped.

After regaining control, you continue enjoying sex until you approach orgasm once more. Then you repeat the whole cycle. You repeat this several times then finally allow yourself to ejaculate.

And of course, there is more to it than this: there are breathing techniques, muscle control techniques, and various ways of having sex which give you greater control over your arousal.

For example, the first step is to develop the ability to identify the sensations you feel in the moments immediately before you come, i.e. before you ejaculate.

This allows you to develop some level of self-control. It's always possible to stop thrusting and remain still inside your partner during sex, and this will allow your level of sexual arousal to drop until you are no longer likely to ejaculate.

Once you feel you have regained control, you can begin to thrust again - then, when your arousal begins to increase once more, you can last for a little longer until you feel yourself to be on the verge of ejaculation. 

Repeating the process can lead to big increases in the delay before ejaculation. It's one of the simplest ways to learn now to delay ejaculation.

Developing self-control like this requires some self-discipline, so that the temptation to simply continue thrusting until you ejaculate does not overcome you.

 Thus the first step in developing control over PE is to mentally change your attitude so that you believe that you do indeed have the ability to control how quickly or prematurely you ejaculate.

The story of Alex and Lisa Lingering Over Ejaculation During Intercourse

Knowing how to stop premature ejaculation will allow you to fully satisfy your partner. That's what this website is all about. But we don't just tell you how to how to cure PE: we show you, with the help of Alex and Lisa (see their photo on the right), who used these techniques themselves.

When Alex's ejaculation was successfully delayed, their sex life improved so much and they were so delighted with how well these techniques worked that they asked us to film them for this website. 

If you just want to know how to cure premature ejaculation, read on....

Here's what they had to say about it all:

Alex: "I was the proverbial quick-comer! During sex, we'd spend an hour or so playing. While Lisa gave me head, I enjoyed giving her oral sex, and we'd massage each other, kiss and so on. All very nice! Lisa would usually have an orgasm, and then she'd really want me inside her.

The problem was that by this stage I was so excited that I just couldn't last very long! I'd have the scent of her on my face and lips from the oral sex, her juices would be flowing, and her vagina would be warm and swollen from her orgasm. As soon as I went into her, I could feel the build-up to my own orgasm beginning. And sure, that's always very exciting - how could it not be with someone as feminine and gorgeous as Lisa? - but I just couldn't stop myself ejaculating in a minute or two.

And, you know, that was always followed by a sense of disappointment and failure. I wanted to go on longer! I wanted to be able to make love for much longer - in fact, I wanted to thrust for long enough to give her the satisfaction she craved. We knew that if she was stimulated on her G spot for long enough, she'd have a vaginal orgasm. But at that time, the only way we could do this was for me to put one or two fingers inside her vagina and use those to rub and massage her G spot.

That was OK, but she made it clear that what she really wanted was to feel my penis inside her. That's much more exciting for her."

Lisa takes up the story: "That's all true, but it isn't the whole story. Men don't know, I think, that women very often have a desire to be penetrated in the way that men have a desire to penetrate. I want to give myself to the man I love, I want to feel my man inside me. I want to see him enjoy his powerful male orgasm.

I want to feel the rush of his ejaculation into me - but I want all this when when I'm aroused and turned on, and that takes time. I want him to be able to stay inside me without coming for long enough that I can enjoy the whole experience - which for me, means at least ten to fifteen minutes.

And Alex is right about the G spot experience - I love having my G spot stimulated, but I wanted him to be able to do it with his penis, not his fingers. That's the ultimate symbol of acceptance of a man by a woman. What it all means is that a man who can't go on thrusting for long enough is not going to be able to satisfy me sexually. I don't know if it's the same for other women, but that's how it is for me."

Alex: "That's why all men need to develop staying power. Nobody's asking you to be a stud, or to last for hours: just be man enough to make it good for her. Give her what she deserves - satisfying sex. There's a level of intense pleasure you'll never reach in sex if you just settle for a three minute session of screwing every time you're trying to connect physically. It just doesn't do it.

And even if a woman says it's OK, you know it isn't really - she just won't say so. And who knows when your partner is going to meet someone else they're attracted to? That happens to us all. And maybe if she thinks he's better in bed than you are, you're going to lose her. I think we'd have split up if things hadn't changed sexually...." He stops and looks questioningly at Lisa. Just how important was this behavior therapy in dealing with Alex's premature ejaculation?

Lisa: "Sex isn't everything but it certainly is important. If it was a choice between a man who could meet my emotional needs and one who could meet my sexual and emotional needs more fully, then, yes, I'd choose the better lover. But why worry about this when it's actually easy to become a better lover? Things need never get to the point where you might split up because sex could be better.

An emotionally and sexually fulfilled woman is the sexiest, happiest, most loyal and devoted companion you could wish for! Without making a big thing of it, that's why we wanted to model the photos for this website - we really want everyone to be as sexually happy and fulfilled as we now are!"

Alex and Lisa's pictures are combined with our simple and comprehensive text, which together make it very easy to control your premature ejaculation. With this website you can actually become a longer-lasting lover in a few short weeks! 

We're unique because Alex and Lisa's photos just make it so straightforward to cure premature ejaculation. And there's nothing pornographic on this site; in fact, it's ideal for men and women to view together because it shows a loving couple enjoying great sex and learning how to stop premature ejaculation.

Behavioral therapy to control premature ejaculation: the first step

You can start to develop a treatment for premature ejaculation by learning how near you are to ejaculation as you masturbate. Most premature ejaculators are not at all aware of how near they are to ejaculation until it is right on them and they are beginning to pump semen into their partner!

When your penis is erect, start to masturbate - preferably with lube like a soothing massage oil - but do it slowly and in a relaxed way. Often men masturbate quickly and ejaculate as soon as possible: the object of the exercise here is to develop more control over the speed with which you reach orgasm, so masturbating quickly to orgasm is not the correct method for this treatment.

For this cure to be effective, you must resist the desire to simply continue masturbating when you begin to sense your orgasm approaching. The whole point is to increase your self-control and self-awareness, and the best way to do that is to develop control over your ejaculation while you masturbate.

If you wish to actively control your ejaculation, as opposed to just stopping self-stimulation and letting your arousal drop, so that you do not actually ejaculate, you can actually squeeze your penis just below the glans between your finger and thumb - or you can get your partner to do it for you (see below).

Be warned, though: this is not especially pleasant, and simply exercising some self-control can be a better route to learning how not to ejaculate before you wish to do so! What's more, you can't have sex while you are training until step 5 - see below for more details.

After you sense that the moment of incipient ejaculation (also known as the point of no return) has passed, you can start to masturbate again.

Once again, continue to masturbate until you feel that your orgasm is approaching. Then stop, wait for your arousal to drop, perhaps even for your erection to disappear, before you continue to masturbate. For the first four cycles of this method, don't ejaculate.

On the fifth, continue masturbating until you ejaculate, but remember that the longer you can go without ejaculating, the more effective this will be in preventing premature ejaculation.

This means that prolonged masturbation, where you keep yourself just below the point of ejaculation, can be especially helpful.

Repeat this procedure 3 times a week for 2 weeks.

Controlling premature ejaculation: the second step

It doesn't actually take long before this behavior therapy makes you much more sensitive to the point at which you're going to ejaculate.

After a few sessions of masturbation, you should start to feel much more aware of the signs that precede your ejaculation: tightening of muscles in your legs and groin, a particular sensation in your testicles (balls) as they tighten up; a tingling sensation in your penis - whatever the clues are before you ejaculate, focus on them until you have a good sense of how near to ejaculation you are.

Each time you feel yourself approaching your orgasm and ejaculation, stop what you are doing and wait until you feel confident that your arousal has dropped before you start again.

You will soon find that you can keep yourself on the verge of ejaculation for longer and longer periods: and, as an incentive to do so, you'll also find that when you finally do come, the orgasm and ejaculation you experience will be more powerful than before because you are ejaculating larger quantities of semen.

Practice this procedure three times a week, preferably with your partner's help.

Preventing premature ejaculation: the third step

Many men find that when they train their PC muscles to contract harder during orgasm, they actually discover they have greater control over their ejaculation and it feels more intense as well.

I should emphasize that this is not about clamping these muscles down in the moments before you ejaculate so that no semen escapes: I believe this is pretty much impossible - and even if you can develop muscles strong enough to do it, the pleasure of your orgasm is much reduced.

Your PC muscles can be trained with "Kegel exercises for men" (you can research this on the internet); you can identify them fairly easily by twitching your penis when it's erect.

That's the effect of the PC muscles, which are also partly responsible for the power of your ejaculation. If you train them up with muscle contraction routines, you will shoot your ejaculate further and have much more powerful orgasms.

Premature ejaculation control: the fourth step

Use a slippery lube in your hand to mirror the environment inside the vagina as you masturbate.

Premature ejaculation stopped! The fifth and final step

Next, you're actually going to put your penis back inside the vagina: but no hip thrusting is allowed as it tends to make men come more quickly, so it's woman on top sex! Lie on your back and have your partner climb on you and gently insert your penis into her vagina.

If you feel you're going to come, get her to lift off you and pause, then repeat the insertion until you can take this without ejaculating. Practice makes perfect, and it is only a matter of time before penetration stops being so arousing that you can't help but shoot when you enter her!

If you have more control, then you will be able to get inside her before you come, and she may perhaps even make a few thrusts before you ejaculate.

This is where the training in steps 1 to 4 above comes into its own. When you feel the onset of your impending ejaculation, you can stop moving, wait until your arousal has decreased, and then start have your partner start thrusting or moving gently.

You can control your arousal by pausing, having her remain still, or even asking her to get off you completely. The important thing is that you identify when you are about to ejaculate and take some action to stop it happening!

Now obviously this behavioral therapy is an effective premature ejaculation treatment, but it will take some patience and commitment, but if it's worth doing in the first place, the investment of time and energy has to be worthwhile in fulfilling your ambitions to last longer in bed.

You do this by focusing on what you are feeling, not on the excitement of the situation or how aroused you are. Simply concentrate on what you are feeling, wherever you identify the signs of your approaching ejaculation - be it in your testicles, penis or body muscles, and when you know it's going to happen, stop moving until your arousal has dropped again.

You can repeat this process as often as necessary until you have developed greater control. You will find that the best sex positions for learning ejaculation control are the side by side positions, in which most men can last considerably longer before they come, or (as described above) the woman on top position.

Positions where you receive most stimulation - such as rear entry of man on top - are least helpful for premature ejaculators.

If you do happen to ejaculate too soon, don't worry about it. Just try harder next time, and stop thrusting or moving sooner: this way you will develop greater ejaculation control more quickly.

This self-help premature ejaculation treatment works, though it is explained in much more detail in the full website, which you can access from the link to the right of this page. There are many other things you can do to help yourself as well when you wish to control or treat premature ejaculation effectively.

Be aroused in both mind and body. If you're not very aroused, in your mind and in your mental attitude, the paradox is that you may not last as long in bed as you would if you had a high level of arousal. Arousal can be both mental and physical - the sign of physical arousal is an erection; the sign of mental arousal is desire, lustfulness and an urge to have sex and ejaculate.

It's really the latter that is the problem for premature ejaculators - you need to control mental arousal until you don't ejaculate at the sight or feel of a vagina! The best way to do this is to get fully into the complete sexual experience, mind and body, and to focus on what you are feeling rather than what you are thinking.

Be a sex expert! Get some skills in lovemaking. We're not born to be good lovers - we have to learn what our partner wants, how to give it to her, and how to pleasure ourselves. All of that's a tall order if you don't have a bit of help along the way.

There are many websites which can guide you to greater ejaculation control, and there are many books, some of which I have used myself and therefore recommend from personal experience of behavioral therapy learning to control my own premature ejaculation.

See, for example: Extended Sexual Orgasm by Alan and Donna Brauer and A Beginner's Guide to Tantric Sexuality by Richard Craze.

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