Delay Ejaculation!

 

Social, Sexual And Performance Anxiety: Do They Cause Premature Ejaculation?

Anxiety has many causes, and the word itself is used imprecisely to describe different emotional states: in the context of rapid ejaculation this could include such things as a phobia about the vagina; conflict caused by anger at some aspect of a man's relationship and guilt about expressing this anger or hostility; and performance anxiety where a man is anticipating his failure during the sexual act.

The latter condition is the one that we tacitly think of as performance anxiety -- a form of anxiety that anticipates failure, which then causes failure of the erectile or ejaculatory mechanism, thereby prompting further anxiety and a negative reinforcement cycle of anxiety and further failure.

Of course, Masters and Johnson saw rapid ejaculation in the context of incorrectly learned early experiences: they interviewed men with rapid ejaculation and discovered that many of them had had early sexual experiences characterized by the need for haste and secretiveness and imbued with nervousness.

Intuitively, it's not hard to see how having sex in the back of the car, say, with the fear of discovery, or engaging in paid sex with a sex worker, could produce anxiety and a rapid ejaculation. I mena, in this situation, can you really imagien that a man would know how to delay ejaculation?

However, the problem is that these early conditioning experiences may not be unique to men with rapid ejaculation - such things also happen to many of the men who subsequently go on to develop good control of their ejaculation.

It's also been mooted that the lack of awareness, a lack of feedback from one's own body regarding the level of arousal one has reached during sex, is a factor in arriving unexpectedly at the point of no return.

This suggestion is backed up somewhat by the fact that many men with PE do report that they move from low levels of arousal to the point of ejaculation without conscious awareness, in other words, their ejaculation takes them by surprise.

How does anxiety affect a man's ability to delay his orgasm during sex?

Of all of these possible causes, the one that seems most likely to have a major impact on the development of rapid ejaculation is anxiety. Almost all men with PE have high levels of anxiety, and we know it is a major factor in other sexual dysfunctions like erection problems.

Certainly the negative feedback of failure and increased anxiety is a powerful and potent combination in worsening sexual performance, and possibly even causing a man to long for safety and security - without which he may start to avoid sexual encounters.

We also need to consider how this kind of performance anxiety and its consequences (inability to delay ejaculation) can affect a man and his relationship, and the quality of the sexual relationship between him and his partner.

Men in this position report a low level of sexual self-confidence, and a reluctance or inhibition about establishing new relationships.

 Those who are already in a relationship worry about being able to satisfy their partner, and may have concerns about the partner's faithfulness (or lack thereof) as a result of their sexual dysfunction. This is often raised in counseling.

And many men who ejaculate prematurely may become preoccupied with thoughts of control, anxiously anticipate their ejaculation, experience worry and embarrassment, and find maintaining an erection in the face of their anxiety to be a real challenge.

This is in direct contrast to men who report satisfaction with sex and with their ability to delay ejaculation - they show a focus on sexual arousal and satisfaction.

It follows that in the face of these negative consequences of coming too soon, a couple's level of intimacy is likely to be lower than it is within a relationship where the man sees himself as functioning well in the sexual arena.

One of the major causes of the disruption of relationship between a man who ejaculates quickly and his partner is in fact this loss of intimacy.

In addition partners may be distressed by the man's low-level sexual "performance", the lack of sexual satisfaction that they receive during sexual encounters, and the man's perceived lack of consideration and his failure to listen to the partner's feelings about the situation.

Of course, some men do give their partners an orgasm by manual or oral stimulation before the moment of intromission: for many couples that is a satisfactory solution, but for others it results in further performance anxiety and pressure on the man because he now feels that he has to sexually satisfy his partner in this way.

It's observable that men with high levels of performance anxiety have a fragile self-esteem, and often believe that their partners do not understand how bad they feel about the problem. It is this which helps to makes PE a major issue for the couple, not just for the man.

But exactly how does anxiety cause premature ejaculation?

Presumably by raising the level of activity in the central nervous system - the brain, to be more precise -  in the same circuits as those responsible for sexual arousal.

The impact of serotonergic transmission is as relevant to the role of anxiety as both cause and effect of PE as it is to depression and the origin and treatment of PE itself. Read more.


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